Melancholic.

That's one word to describe this song I'm currently in love with. It's hauntingly melancholic. The intimate, lush and feathery vocals; the 4 chord piano/harpsichord loop; the minimalist attack of the drums and bass - all of these combine into one amazingly beautiful track that I will never get tired of listening to. Anyway, here it is and its lyrics if ever you want to sing along.

Massive Attack - Paradise Circus

It's unfortunate that when we feel a storm
we can roll ourselves over 'cause we're uncomfortable
oh where the devil makes us sin
but we like it when we're spinning in his grip.

Love is like a sin my love

For the one that feels it the most
Look at her with her eyes like a flame
She will love you like a fly will never love you, again

It's unfortunate that when we feel a storm
we can roll ourselves over when we're uncomfortable
oh well the devil makes us sin
but we like it when we're spinning in his grip.

Love is like a sin my love

For the one that feels it the most
Look at her with a smile like a flame
She will love you like a fly will never love you, again

See... this is why I don't like having free time.

On busy weeks and definite chaos

This past week has been a whirlwind of errands, chores and events - some of which I would have rather not attended. It kept me from going online and keeping up with all the "latest events and news" which happened to my circle of friends.

To be honest, it was somehow liberating. Keeping up with what's happening with everyone slowly entangles you in an intricate web of chaos and drama, however, not doing so will put a social recluse label on you. Anyway, I'll just post a song that cheers me up whenever I feel down. Enjoy.

Love letter for the lost.

I tell myself the things that I really need to hear at a time like this. You're gone because it's the best for both of us. You weren't happy, and now you've gone to find someone that can make you happy. Which is good, because that's what I want; you need to be happy and it makes me happy knowing you are happy. I tell myself we weren't right for each other and there's one right person out there for me, and it wasn't you, so that's why we didn't last. I tell myself that I won't look back on our relationship with regret, because I believe in the saying that it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

But I'm just lying to myself.

No one will ever love you the same way I did. Being apart isn't good for either of us. You used to be happy, and I believe we could go back to the time we were happy, if we could just work through it. I believe with all my heart we were right for each other. And I will always live with that regret of allowing you to walk out of my life instead of chasing after you. I wish I could say that I never did love you because it would be easier; then I wouldn't have to deal with this crushing heartache. I wish I could truly believe that saying either way; I don't believe it was better to have loved and lost, but the time I spent loving you was the greatest time of my life.

I don't know if telling myself these lies are helping or not. Forcing myself to believe it doesn't work, because with every statement I tell myself, the pain worsens to know it's not true. And yet, I continue to go in this continuous cycle, happy to stay in it because the only thing I can think of is that you loved me enough to pull me out of it. This is the only lie I told myself that I have chosen to believe. I think that's why it hurts the most.

Although I tell myself many lies to try to get over you, here's the truth: I will always love you and that's all I'm really certain of anymore.

It won't be long until you break.

This song strikes closely to my heart, mainly because of the lovely and thoughtful lyrics.